"I'm still there ...waiting! but, are you ever returning?"

I remeber the time, just as clear as water..
YOU.. ME
ME... YOU ..
how can I forget those days?
Resting in each others dreams at night, and waking up with the wish to see each other once again in the morning!
The days of my dream come true .. The days with the golden shine.. The most pleasing and blooming days of my life. The days of love.. Our days of love !!!
The days when we lived in our own word,
The world of our affection... the beautiful world, far away from hatred and all the evil-like feelings.
. . . .

I wished nothing more, why would have I asked for more? It was more than enough for me!
but people say.. "Nothing lasts long."
It was time for me to face it...
You didn't last either..
You faded like the ink fades off the paper when it is washes by water...
well.. I can say the time acted like the water.. and gradually it washed off all your affections..
You faded..
And poor me, my effort wasn't enough to stop you... it wasn't enough to keep you locked to me !!!
I still remember you said, "I'll never leave you" ...
Where you lying all the while?
how could you expect me to beleive that you were..?
Didn't you even feel like looking back once before leavin?

Still.. My heart can never beleive that you can ever be so heartless...
I still keep faith and wait..
Wait for your returning footsteps,
I still beleive I'll be able to see you coming back.
You will...

but then . . .
I cant ignore the fact that 'I am still not sure!'
And I, observing my state being a rationalist, being sceptic..
say that..
There the question lies..


"I'm still there ...waiting!
 but, are you ever returning?" . . . .

I was named 'The Brown Eyed Gal!'
On the very day I was born..
People said I was lucky to have such Beautiful eyes..
They said It shall deliver me luck, They said It was the thing that made me special, made me different from the several other girls.. !

.
.
.
Now! I object.
neither they are lucky, nor I'm special..

But yeah!
They do help me to shed tears when i'm in pain..
They do help me to see the MEAN world I live in.
They do help me to see how life gets harder day by day .
They do help me to see my mom yelling at me, unsatisfied with me !
They do help me To visualize my friends, and understand how disloyal they are..
They do help me to Sense the Darkness hidden inside the day light !!!
They do help me To read the texts from him... Which says, 'he never loved me'
They do help me to See Him Pass... without even noticing that I'm there..



...

Now say, Are they special??
DO THEY MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE ?????
.
.
.

then Why am i still called, the lucky 'The Brown Eyed Gal!' ?

MY JOURNEY BEING AN ADOLESCENT!

[ This extarct is written by me but you should read it thinking you don't know who the person is, who wrote it ... And a hint, the girl in it isn't a teenager like I am, but she talks about her Adolescence here.]



My Life is a lot different know...
But it wasn't this way from the beginning ...

.. Had my messy days too!
 ....first, it starTed with a lill sentence saying, 'Your not a kid anymore'
I slowly started realizing I actually wasn't . . .
I felt as if the world around me was changing,  but actually the changes took place within.

When I turned thirteen..
I was the happiest n most excited ..
Felt as if I am such a big girl ... though ...
The excitement didn't last long;

as I somehow figure out the changes all around were not going to settle down so easy..
With changes in age, you experience changes of mind.. changes of view .. changes of imagination .. both mental and physical changes !!!
These changes bugged me all the while ..
I turned calm .. Quiet .. separated and lonely!!!

... That wasn't all I was always misunderstood and misinterpreted by everyone ..
It became real hard for me to bear with these hornomal and metamorphic changes which made my state worse each passing day ..
I was no longer a good mixture, neither with kids, nor with my relatives ...
I was frustrated, yet I had to face it all .. :(

..

My feelings..
All this while .. attraction .. love and .. emotions where rock steady by my side, they played along a good game with my poor lill mind..
.. "NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME!"
 ____ My favourite quote of those days..
I atleast used it 10 times a day because it did explain my state of mind so perfectly.
And so it does for every other teenager ...

During all my teenage it was just my fellow aged friend who did understand me, and no one else.. And now I've seen that it happens with every second teenager ..
...
Anyways turning back to my life ..

I no longer fiddled with my barbies and sat infront of my comp. playing dress up games;
I rather liked texting my pals and chatting online..
I no longer read comics like I used to when I was a kid;
I rather liked reading novels and love stories ...
I was changing. Changing a lot ..

I experieced so much all this while.

GooD experiences, BaD experiences ..SucessFuL experiences as well as experiences of real Disasters ..
And so does every other teenager ..

Then ...
I felt as if I was getting used to the problems and misfits.
I gradually learned to own up.
I had to face it, That's Life!!!

And slowly slowly things started to settle down .. and I started taking life the other way ...
I understood my problems and had my solutions too. I was growing mature..

I'M 26 NOW and VERY SUCCESSFUL & HAPPY WITH MY LIFE.

but,
I'll always remember my journey from a kid to a Lady!
MY teenage !

My Adolescence-
yes!
 ..no other word could define this better.
Its something which encapsulates the whole process of growing old in such a lill term.

...And now I tell you, this was:

MY JOURNEY BEING AN ADOLESCENT!